On beer

According to the Big Book O’ Beer, talking about per capita beer consumption:

In 2002, the Czechs cancelled out an average of 159 liters of beer per person. The Irish came in second, at 125 liters per person. The U.S. ranked twelfth with a pathetic 84.4 liters per person.

I’m sorry I let us down.

A year or two ago I was visiting the Long Valley Pub and Brewery. It was maybe my second visit. I was quite looking forward to having a nice sampler of their fine brews. The wife and I were also sans children, so I could actually enjoy what I was drinking.

At a nearby table was a pair of older couples, perhaps in their fifties. This was apparently their first visit to the LVPB. The women ordered beers. The men: wine.

Are you kidding me?! Who the @&%$ goes to a brewpub and orders wine?

What a couple of pussies. Or elitist snobs. I can’t decide which. Probably both. Elitist pussies.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel obligated to go with the specialty of the house. If I don’t want steak, I don’t go to a steakhouse. I don’t go to a pizzeria and order a cheeseburger. Why don’t I go to Red Lobster? Because I don’t like seafood!

Go back to the country club you asshats.

Okay, yeah, sure, the LVPB has an award-winning menu. But, come on.


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Geek. Gamer. Dad. Husband. Beer drinker. Football fan. Blogger.

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